


In My Heart (He) Left A Hole

by mecchi



Category: Super Junior
Genre: 83line, Angst, I'm Sorry, M/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Teukchul as civilians in avengers world
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:15:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22694662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mecchi/pseuds/mecchi
Summary: When the snap happened, Jungsoo was working. One minute everything was fine and the next, it was not.
Relationships: Kim Heechul/Park Jungsoo | Leeteuk
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	In My Heart (He) Left A Hole

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiiii. This is set in The Avengers universe post Infinity War but none of the boys are heroes or anything. They're just civilians who had their life affected when the snap happens. Also won't make much sense if you're unfamiliar with The Avengers. But to make it simple, the snap is when Thanos snapped his fingers and wiped out half of the world's population in the blink of an eye. 
> 
> This is a work of fiction and has no relation to the idols irl. English isn't my first language so pardon any mistakes. Point them out and I'll fix it. Title is from Coldplay's Us Against the World. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

When it happened, Jungsoo could only gape. His mind was whirling, unable to process the sight before his eyes.

People were dissolving. It was chaos. He made eye contact with a little girl in the audience seat, her eyes wide and terrified, before she disappeared into thin air. Just like that.

Jungsoo didn't realise he was screaming until he had to stop to take a breath as more and more people disappeared. 

When it ended, Jungsoo was absolutely terrified. He looked around to see panic as children and adults alike cried for their lost ones.

He thought of helping others, of trying to bring some sense of orderly into the whole chaos but then, the thought of his mom and sister being gone made his stomach clenched in pure fear. He's human after all, he reasoned afterwards, but during that moment Jungsoo couldn't help but be so scared. 

And then he thought of Heechul. And the rest of his boys. 

The fear just tripled and he still couldn't make sense of what had just transpired. He thought back to that little girl and he started running for his dear life. Leaving the building, Jungsoo's breathing stuttered at the heaviness of the atmosphere. 

Cars on the road abandoned, people crying and wailing. There's a faint sound siren and of course, he instinctively headed towards the sound.

But only an empty police car waited for him and he felt hysteria creeping in at the edge of his vision. He fumbled for his phone, trying to call his mom but the line was busy before everything cuts off suddenly. He tried again and again to no avail and in the end he threw the phone away in frustration, before banging his fist against the hood of the police car. 

Through it all, the sun continued to shine brightly as if nothing was remotely wrong.

..........

Later on, as he huddled under the thick blanket given by the paramedics, still clad in his work attire, Jungsoo learnt that a war had happened. And the earth lost. He didn't understand the technicalities, his head spun too much for everything to make sense. But he understood that they lost. And they lost big time.

Half of the earth was wiped out within seconds and Jungsoo wasn't stupid. He knew the probability that all his close ones would survive would be slim. He didn't dare to hope as he wrote his details on the paper given by some sort of South Korea's emergency defence team, his shaking hands smudging the ink so much until he had to request a new form. 

All around him were anguished faces, filled with so much devastation and still, Jungsoo was glad that he doesn't have to return home, that he can just stay in this huge evacuation centre. Because these people are grieving like he is and just that was enough to make him feel less lonely. 

Halfway through the new form, a shriek interrupted his focus and a body slam into him. Jungsoo was about to push the other person away when he realized it was his sister, and he hugged back as tightly, clinging like his life depends on it.

She was sobbing incoherently but he got the gist that their mom survived too and Jungsoo almost collapsed to the floor in relief. He asked if she knew about anyone, about Heechul but she didn't know anything.

He quickly finished the form up, eagerly wanting to follow his sister like he used to do back in the eighties, obediently trotting behind her without any thoughts or troubles. 

Jungsoo didn't even want to think about other possibilities. So he handed his completed form before he was dragged to a small tent to see his mother waiting for them. And when she saw him, she burst into tears, hands grasping his face and touching him all over to make sure that he's real and that he exists.

He tried to calm her down, but he couldn't see properly through all his tears that in the end he gave up and let her hold him tight. He's her baby boy after all.

That night he saw more familiar faces in the evacuation center. Some relieved and smiling but more with tear tracks down their cheeks. Jungsoo ached for them but he couldn't help the tiny feeling of relief that his family unit are all safe and sound.

Then one by one he found his boys. Distraught Donghee, silent Ryeowook, angry Yesung, frowning Kangin and torn Kyuhyun. Then there's Hyukjae immediately sobbing when his eyes landed on Jungsoo, incoherently saying that Donghae was gone into thin air. 

Jungsoo's breathing stuttered as he thought of sweet Donghae, always so pure, always there smiling by his side and he ached for crying Hyukjae. All seven of them sits close to each other, thighs touching as if afraid of anyone turning into dust again and things fall silent, only some sniffling was heard here and there. 

As the night went on, Jungsoo stayed up and waited for the others. But mostly he waited for Heechul. Waited to see that gummy smile, the deep voice saying 'it's okay, it's okay,', waited for Heechul to hold him and let him fall into despair at losing others. 

But none came, not that night nor the rest of the countless nights that followed. And no comfort in the form of Heechul being there came for Jungsoo. 

Heechul was gone and Jungsoo's life was torn to shreds at the unfairness of it all. 

/////////////////////////

**Five years later**

They were about to sit for breakfast when the doorbell rang. Jungsoo, still clad in pajamas, frowned but volunteered to check their intercom.

And the person he saw knocked the breath out of him.

Swinging open the door in urgency, Jungsoo could only stare at Heechul, who haven't aged a day since the day he disappeared five years ago.

"You look older," the voice is still the same too, matching the familiar mischievousness always swimming in Heechul's eyes. Jungsoo wanted to say something, anything as the blood rushed in his ears, but all he did was stare and stare and stare at this person that he loved so much that his heart never felt completed for this past five years.

"Oh!" Heechul exclaimed, gaze focused on behind Jungsoo and within seconds Jungsoo felt a small body slammed onto his leg and his heart dropped.

"This is- I-" Jungsoo stuttered, his heart roaring in denial, aware of the small child peeking curiously from behind him. 

"Oh, don't worry. Mom told me everything once I reappear," the smile was so gentle and so pure that Jungsoo couldn't believe he's seeing it again. He felt like slapping himself because it felt like one of those dreams that he still had to this day, that this isn't Heechul. That he's in some sort of a nightmare. But this is real. Heechul is alive and breathing and exists. Heechul is here. 

"He looks so much like you," Heechul continued, still smiling but Jungsoo both saw and heard the edge of pain colouring Heechul's face and words, making his heart constricted painfully.

Suddenly, a melodious voice called out from inside the house.

"Heechul! Come back, mama has banana for good boys!"

That took the attention of both the little boy and the man standing in front of Jungsoo. Jungsoo watched Heechul's expression flicker from surprised to pained as the younger one's gaze followed the little boy toddling back into the house, happy at the promise of his favourite fruit.

"Mom didn't tell me that- the name-" Heechul was flustered and even his gestures were the same which left Jungsoo reeling form how unreal it is. His brain tried to process it but the only things surfacing now is 'Heechul is here. Heechul is alive and healthy and haven't fucking aged. And he's here'

He's here when Jungsoo had moved on, had found a place that he fits in, a place that is comfortable for him to just be Jungsoo. He wanted to laugh at the cruelty of it all but all that came out was a strangled sound.

"Wh-when?" he choked out and for a second he wondered if it can be understood. But Heechul, sweet dear Heechul always understood when it comes to Jungsoo and this time was no exception.

"Last night. I was- I don't know. There was my crying mom and I was so confused. The first thing I think about was you. Then mom explained everything to me. What happened... I- I guess you didn't expect me- I mean-," Heechul stopped and fidgeted, looking as unsure as Jungsoo had been all these years.

"I just needed to see you..." the words hung heavy and automatically Jungsoo raised his hand, wanting to touch Heechul, wanting to feel Heechul's skin again. But Heechul took one step back. Then another. Then another as he shook his head, widening the gap between them. Jungsoo could see droplets of tears starting to fill Heechul's big eyes and his stomach churned with feelings he couldn't name.

"I'm sorry. Mom was right. I shouldn't have come. I'm sorry. You belong to someone else now. You have a family now. I'm sorry, Jungsoo," Heechul said as he wiped his tears before braving a smile.

"I'm glad you moved on and found happiness though. I'm sorry, I'll go now." Heechul turned around and walk away, and everything was wrong. 

'Wrong wrong wrong!' kept repeating loudly in Jungsoo's mind. 

But Jungsoo stood frozen through it all, hand suspended mid air as Heechul disappeared again, no longer Jungsoo's. He didn't know what to think, what to do, as he finally gathered enough wits to close the door. Moving on autopilot, Jungsoo walked inside only to be greeted by the sight of his wife tending to their child gently and he was reminded that this is where he belongs to now. In this small home, as a husband. No longer Heechul's lover. This is his path now.

And he'll walk it, the whole stretch of it bravely even if his heart will never feel whole and complete again. Even as his core yearns for something that couldn't possibly his anymore. He'll go on and maybe, just maybe Heechul will be meeting him at the gates of heaven. 

**Author's Note:**

> Was it confusing? I've been mulling over the idea since Infinity War came out and finally had the motivation to write.
> 
> Also the rational behind Heechul looking for Teuk immediately after reappearing is him trying to find something familiar to anchor him in the new world that he suddenly appeared in. If there's any confusion, just ask me and I'll answer them hehe
> 
> Kudos and comments are most welcome, you can post anonymous comment too :) Thanks for reading ❤️


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